It has been just over a year since Ben and I found out that I was pregnant and recently I have spent a lot of time thinking back on the changes in our family. When we first started discussing an adoption I began writing a journal about what we were doing and my thoughts and feelings about everything. I hadn’t looked at it since I last wrote which was in May 2009. I thought that since it was on my mind I would look back and see how far we have come. I cried when I read my first entry. A portion of what I wrote is below:

1/31/09
The truth is, you may not have even been born yet. But I can already see your baby fingers and toes and beautiful, curly hair. My arms ache to hold you and I can’t help but cry when I start to think about you being in Kenya without us. I’m worried that you won’t get enough to eat and that you won’t be held enough. Who will love you and sing to you and rub your back until we get there? I can’t wait to come and get you and if I knew where you were, I would leave tonight.

My last entry read:

5/21/09
…We have to get a move on it so that we can come get you in September. I can’t wait! After our meeting with Alice I was jumping up and down with excitement because we are now one step closer to coming for you. September will be here before we know it and then you will be ours!

I am blown away by how God worked through all of this. Even when our plans were changing and we thought we would adopt from Lesotho and when our travel plans were in flux and when I got pregnant, God still knew where Eden was and was preparing her (and us) for our future together. And how perfect that Eden was at the Sally Test Center waiting for me when I went for the very first time on September 21, 2009.

It’s so different being able to experience the beginning with Andy. It’s amazing to watch him learn and grow. And it is SO fun to know that he recognizes us. When I go get him out of bed in the morning he always has a big smile for me and now when we put him in bed at night he cries when we walk away from his crib.

Tonight I have a very happy and thankful heart because of my wonderful God and the beautiful family he has given me.